Britain’s The Guardian newspaper has a long tradition of elaborate April Fools’ Day jokes and spoofs. One of its most legendary featured a tenth independence anniversary supplement of the San Serif archipelago; a near neighbour to the Seychelles in the Indian Ocean.
Constructing a sophisticated hoax about San Serif the profile of the tiny nation’s semi-colon shaped twin islands, it claimed that the nation’s morphology was the result of marine erosion. The main and northernmost island called Upper Caisse, which was almost symmetrically circular and its southern comma-shaped twin of Lower Caisse. The archipelago’s capital city is called Bodoni.
History of San Serif
San Serif has a chequered history, being first discovered by John Street an English adventurer and admirer of the Portuguese prince, Henry the Navigator. This historic first contact was made on the beach by the Shoal of Adze in 1421.
Between 1432 and 1439 the islands were colonised by the Spanish and Portuguese before annexation by the English in 1659 until the archipelago was ceded to Portugal in 1815. For twelve years from 1824 it became a condominium of Portugal and Britain, reverting to British rule after that.
Independence and its Consequences
The island group eventually gained independence from the Mother Country on April 1st 1967. A few months later in June of that year a coup d'état lead by General Hispalis toppled the government only to be overthrown himself in August 1969 by General Minion. Martial law was imposed in 1971 by General Pica who assumed full dictatorial powers.
The usurpation of power and the imposition of martial law culminated in mass protests, civil war and anarchy for 23 years. Order was restored in 1997 when Antonio Bourgeois won a landslide victory in the island state’s first general election.
Population
The indigenous population are known as Flongs but the dominant group are descendants of European colonists and are known as Colons. A mixing of the races has produced a caste of semi-colons. There are also sizable minorities of Malays, Creoles, and Arabs among others.
The national cuisine swarfega may taste a little bitter-sweet but is refreshingly oil free.
Transport
Upper Caisse has particularly good transport infrastructure with an extensive railway system commencing at Bodoni Central Station and terminating at the sea port of Port Elrod. Main stations on the network include the large township of Port Clarendon. The line branches at Perpetua Junction to Bodoni International Airport and Nomp. A branch line connects to Adze and the Cap Em ferry port.
An extension of the railway is planned to Gill Cameo but permissions have not yet been granted.
Culture and Sport
According to Wikipedia the cultural and sporting life of San Serif consists of the cult of Sonorous Enigma, the Festival of the Well Made Play and the musical group the Ampersand String Quartet. Its sporting achievements are minimal but the national football team, nicknamed the “Kwotes” did achieve a resounding victory over England in the 1999 World Cup.
An annual triathlon of running, mountain biking and windsurfing commences at Cap Em to the village of Ems and is popularly called the Two Em Dash.
Finance and Banking
The unit of currency is the San Serif Hexadecimal Dollar and San Serif’s only bank was established by American academic Donald Knuth, its head office is at Thirty Point, Caissa Inferiore, San Serif.
Other Industries
The archipelago’s main commercial crop is the spaghetti tree; the climate is especially suited to the cultivation of quality spaghetti which is combined with a spicy tomato concoction bottled at source.
San Serif’s tourism sector is growing rapidly since the transfer of power to a civilian government in 1997. Its talcum powder-white sand beaches and azure seas are a magnet for sun-loving Europeans. According to a letter in a recent Guardian the Rough Guide to San Serif is permanently out of print.
John Howe - John Howe is a qualified nurse, lecturer and journalist, he has written extensively on health, travel and lifestyle in Asia and Europe.
